June 25, 2002
 
 Now that the city of Cumberland has determined the interstate to be the means by which it can annex land nowhere near its current borders, we think we know where they’re going with this.
 
 First they used the interstate as the “connection” to land near the
 Shrine Club that is supposed to be the site of a retirement community some time in the next, oh, thirty years or so. Now they’ve decided to suck in some adjacent land around the Devlin Nursing Home on Christie Road.
 
 This merry band of elected officials is like a plague of locusts, chewing up everything in their path.
 
 Never mind that the whole interstate idea may not be legal. What do they care if it’s legal? They’ve got a budget to balance, for heaven’s sake.
 
 Not that we have a problem with annexation in general. We get the fact that the city needs to grow if it’s going to prosper. But claiming land that doesn’t connect with its current borders is a little desperate. If this is the way they’re going to annex land, they may as well head west while they’re at it and gobble up Frostburg. That would give their tax base a kick.
 
 Which brings us to our point. We foresee this merry group of elected officials viewing the interstate as the path to fame and fortune. Can’t fund parks and rec? Let’s annex Hancock - it’s along the interstate.
 
 Neeed a few new snowplows? Let’s do Hagerstown. Heck, let’s go all the way to Bethesda - they’ve got the big bucks there, first of all, and secondly they have that statue that this merry band of elected officials wanted to swipe last year.
 
 Remember that statue thing? The city approached the city of Bethesda about taking some statue they have that has something to do with - we can’t remember exactly - the national road, maybe? Whatever it was, the whole thing was incredibly weird, not to mention a little embarrassing.
 
 Bethesda, as we recall, told us to get lost and go get our own statue.
 
 (We were thinking our merry band of elected officials might try for the Statue of Liberty next. They could put it in the canal when it’s rewatered.)
 
 Well. The nerve of those Bethesda officials. We couldn’t go get our own statue because the city is practically broke. But now we can make sure that statue is part of Cumberland anyway, because we can claim the interstate connects our city borders with Bethesda, and we can just annex them.
 
 Ha! Take that, Bethesda.
 
 Boy will they be sorry. Their taxes will go up, they’ll have weeds sprouting all over town since the city can’t get its act together to the point of enforcing city codes, and they’ll soon have a 14% vacancy rate among their housing.
 
 Why? Because that’s the way Cumberland does business. Hey, we’re just in it for the statue. Not to mention the money. New snowplows are expensive.